T H E F A R S I D E O F M L M

Ralph Waldo Emerson could have had network marketing in mind when he penned the first line of his classic statement about success---"To laugh often and much..." In the social, friendship business of network marketing, humor and success walk hand in hand.

If you're a network marketer, betcha you can't get through "You might be a network marketer if..." without a chuckle, or even a groan. If you can, you don't have a clue about the zany and wacky lifestyle of MLM. If you can't, there's a self-scoring true or false Chuckle & Groan Test to help you determine your level of MLM experience.

You can also contribute your perspective on the MLM lifestyle by completing "You might be a network marketer if..." You will not only receive FREE recognition here at The Far Side of MLM on the Internet, but your statement will also be published in the forthcoming book---"You Might Be A Network Marketer If..." for the coffee tables and bathrooms of network marketers worldwide.

"You might be a Network Marketer if..."

Faith

T/F...you think of the Trinity as Amway, Shaklee, and Herbalife."
Andy Anderson, Colorado Springs, CO

Family/Friends

T/F...your family thinks the word 'entrepreneur' is a disease."
Ron Forberg, Colorado Springs, CO

T/F...your family photo album contains copies of commission checks from failed MLM companies."
Ken Milligan, Clearwater, FL

T/F...the acronym NFL means 'No Friends Left'."
Anonymous

T/F...you're attending a family reunion and find yourself at an Amway weekend."
Fred Sanborn, Glendale, CA

Health/Fitness

T/F...at breakfast, you can select nutritional shakes & supplements from 5 MLM companies."
Craig Kintzel, Newport Beach, CA

T/F...you're listening to more dead doctors than live ones."
Mita del Fierro, Seattle, WA

T/F...you wear so many 'Lose Weight Now, Ask Me How' buttons, no one notices your beer belly."
Michael Clutton, Murphy, NC

T/F...if you've mixed a health concoction of Noni Juice, Rogain and Viagra and you have a hairdo like Don King"
Paul Mikalus, Plainfield, NJ

Garage Sales

T/F...your spouse has advertised a garage sale as a W.O.E. SALE (Wives Of Entrepreneurs)
Dianne Forberg, Denver, CO

Prospecting

T/F...it's easier for you to buy distributor kits than to say no.
Gary Neece, Colorado Springs, CO

Phone/Fax

T/F...your only heavy breathing phone calls are 3-ways with your upline."
Jerry Nehra, Muskegon, MI

T/F...you're sitting on the commode and your spouse yells 'honey, the fax machine is running out of paper'."
Jonathan Gulla, Laguna Beach, CA

T/F...your phone rings at least 10 times during dinner."
Dru Young, Woodland Hills, CA

Compensation Plans

T/F...you've suffered a massive coronary from a one-legged Binary."
Ron Forberg, Colorado Springs, CO

T/F...you finally figure out the Stair Step Break-Away is the Stutter Step Take-Away."
Bob Stonelake, Huntington Beach, CA

Business Failures

T/F...you're in the sales business....selling your house, your car, your furniture, your appliances."
Roberta Kinley, Coeur d'Alene, ID

T/F...you try to save face as your MLM company is going down the toilet...while losing your ass-et."
Ron Forberg, Colorado Springs, CO

"You Might Be A Network Marketer If..." Chuckle & Groan Test

The Greenhorn, heard to say after a crash and burn of just 1 MLM company - "I'll never do this blankity-blank MLM business again." (True checked 1 - 5 times)

The Untested MLMer, heard to say with great confidence - "We've done our due diligence...this company's got experienced management, financial backing, outstanding products, a great comp plan and they'll put the interests of the distributor before the company..." (True checked 6 - 10 times)

The Battle-Scared Veteran, heard to say with a jaundiced eye - "Can we make some money with this thing before it goes down the tubes..." (True checked 11 or more times)

To publish your statement in "You Might Be A Network Marketer If..." or any other humor, scroll to the end of this page.

Voice Mail Messages For Network Marketers

Thank you for calling the Network Marketer's help hotline...

• If you're obsessive-compulsive about selling your products...please press 1 repeatedly.
• If you're involved in multiple network marketing companies...please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
• If you're in a co-dependent network...please ask someone to press 2.
• If you're schizophrenic...listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
• If you're manic-depressive about not getting enough momentum in your network...it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
• If you're paranoid-delusional about your upline, we know who you are and what you want...just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
• if you're promoting a money game or chain letter...please call 1-800-RESCUE-ME immediately.